1. House address:1338 BENNY ROAD 2. Is this house on a farm (or ranch)?NO 3. If no in item 2: Is this house on a place of three or more acres?NO
For All Persons:
4. Name (last name first):VANTAS, KARKAT
· What is the name of the head of household?KARKAT VANTAS · What are the names of all other persons who live here? · List in this order: - The head:KARKAT VANTAS - His wife:WAIT, FUCK, DOES THAT MEAN THE DOCTOR IS THE HEAD? NO, I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT. - Unmarried sons and daughters and their families (in order of age):GAMZEE MAKARA, JADE HARLEY - Married sons and daughters and their families:NONE, BUT SEXY IS THE 'WIFE' I GUESS. - Your least favorite color:RED.
5. Species (underline applicable):
Human (H) Animal (A) Communist (☭) Wizard (W) Catgirl (CG) God/Goddess (G) Other (please specify)
TROLL
6. Sex (underline applicable):
Male (M) Female (F)
7. Are you now married, widowed, divorced, separated, or never married? (Mar, Wd, D, Sep, Nev)NEV
8. What State (or foreign country) were you born in?ALTERNIA
9. What is your deepest secret?OH, REMEMBER HOW LAST TIME I ACTUALLY HAD A LOT TO SAY FOR THIS? YEAH, THANKS FOR TAKING CARE OF THAT FOR ME, MAYFIELD, I'M REALLY GLAD THAT I FORCIBLY NO LONGER SEEM TO HAVE THE ABILITY TO HAVE SECRETS. AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT, ARE WE REALLY DOING THIS AGAIN? REALLY?
10. If foreign born: Are you naturalized? (Yes, No, or AP for born abroad of American parents)NO
11. What are you most ashamed about?SCREW YOU. I'LL NEED ADDITIONAL SHEETS TO GO INTO DETAIL ON THIS ANSWER. RANKING WHAT I'M MOST ASHAMED OF IS LIKE FORCING A DRONE TO CHOOSE ITS FAVORITE WAY OF SMILING EMPTILY, THERE ARE JUST TOO MANY OPTIONS AND THEY ARE ALL EQUALLY MEANINGFUL TO ME.
BUT I'M STILL INVOLUNTARILY TYPING WORDS SO I GUESS I'LL SAY THAT IT'S THE WAY I FROZE AND RAN LIKE A PETRIFIED SQUEAK BEAST WHILE MY FRIENDS WERE BEING MURDERED.
For Persons 14 Years of Age and Over:
12. What were you doing most of last week: working, keeping house, or something else? (Wk, H, Ot, or U for unable to work)
13. If H or Ot in Item 12: Did you do any work at all last week, not counting work around the house? (Include work for pay, in own business, profession, on farm, or unpaid family work) (Yes or No)
14. If No in Item 13: Were you looking for work? (Yes or No)
15. If No in Item 14: Even though you didn't work last week, do you have a job or business? (Yes or No)
16. If No in Item 15: Do you have a good explanation for why you are being so utterly useless to the prosperity of our great town? (Yes, Female, or No, elaborate. Yes is not a valid answer.)
For All Persons:
17. What country were your father and mother born in? (Enter US or name of Territory, possession, or foreign country)
Father:I DON'T HAVE ONE. Mother:I DON'T HAVE ONE.
18. If anything but America in Item 17, justify your right to be here (maximum 100 words):I CREATED YOUR ENTIRE UNIVERSE.
19. What is your most embarrassing memory?I DON'T KNOW, IT WAS PROBABLY WHEN YOU FUCKING BLINDED ME AND LEFT ME IN HIS SHACKLES YOU WORTHLESS PIECES OF SHIT!
20. What is more important- laughter (L) or medicine (M)?MEDICINE, HOW IS THIS EVEN A QUESTION.
21. Please list all of the following diseases you have been afflicted by, if any: Measles (M), Mumps (U), Chicken-Pox (C), Polio (P), Tuberculosis (T), Smallpox (S), Communism (R)
For All Males in the Household:
22. Did you ever serve in the U.S. Armed Forces during (specify Y or N):
22a. World War IIN
22b. World War IN
22c. Any other time, including present serviceN
23. If No to any question in Item 22, justify your reasons for being so reprehensibly unpatriotic (maximum 100 words):CRUMPLE THIS FORM UP AND SEE HOW DEEP INSIDE YOUR NOOKS IT IS POSSIBLE TO SHOVE IT.
24. Are you a Communist? Are you?NO.
For All Persons:
25. Is there an afterlife and how do you know this isn't it? (maximum 100 words)I DIDN'T THINK THERE WAS, BUT APPARENTLY ACTUALLY EVERYONE GOES TO DEATHBUBBLE SQUIDHELL AND MEANDERS FOREVER IN THEIR LEAST FAVORITE MEMORIES WITH BLANK UNSEEING EYES, SO GO FIGURE.
no subject
1. House address: 1338 BENNY ROAD
2. Is this house on a farm (or ranch)? NO
3. If no in item 2: Is this house on a place of three or more acres? NO
For All Persons:
4. Name (last name first): VANTAS, KARKAT
5. Species (underline applicable):
TROLL
6. Sex (underline applicable):
7. Are you now married, widowed, divorced, separated, or never married? (Mar, Wd, D, Sep, Nev) NEV
8. What State (or foreign country) were you born in? ALTERNIA
9. What is your deepest secret? OH, REMEMBER HOW LAST TIME I ACTUALLY HAD A LOT TO SAY FOR THIS? YEAH, THANKS FOR TAKING CARE OF THAT FOR ME, MAYFIELD, I'M REALLY GLAD THAT I FORCIBLY NO LONGER SEEM TO HAVE THE ABILITY TO HAVE SECRETS. AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT, ARE WE REALLY DOING THIS AGAIN? REALLY?
10. If foreign born: Are you naturalized? (Yes, No, or AP for born abroad of American parents) NO
11. What are you most ashamed about? SCREW YOU. I'LL NEED ADDITIONAL SHEETS TO GO INTO DETAIL ON THIS ANSWER. RANKING WHAT I'M MOST ASHAMED OF IS LIKE FORCING A DRONE TO CHOOSE ITS FAVORITE WAY OF SMILING EMPTILY, THERE ARE JUST TOO MANY OPTIONS AND THEY ARE ALL EQUALLY MEANINGFUL TO ME.
BUT I'M STILL INVOLUNTARILY TYPING WORDS SO I GUESS I'LL SAY THAT IT'S THE WAY I FROZE AND RAN LIKE A PETRIFIED SQUEAK BEAST WHILE MY FRIENDS WERE BEING MURDERED.
For Persons 14 Years of Age and Over:
12. What were you doing most of last week: working, keeping house, or something else? (Wk, H, Ot, or U for unable to work)
13. If H or Ot in Item 12: Did you do any work at all last week, not counting work around the house? (Include work for pay, in own business, profession, on farm, or unpaid family work) (Yes or No)
14. If No in Item 13: Were you looking for work? (Yes or No)
15. If No in Item 14: Even though you didn't work last week, do you have a job or business? (Yes or No)
16. If No in Item 15: Do you have a good explanation for why you are being so utterly useless to the prosperity of our great town? (Yes, Female, or No, elaborate. Yes is not a valid answer.)
For All Persons:
17. What country were your father and mother born in? (Enter US or name of Territory, possession, or foreign country)
18. If anything but America in Item 17, justify your right to be here (maximum 100 words): I CREATED YOUR ENTIRE UNIVERSE.
19. What is your most embarrassing memory? I DON'T KNOW, IT WAS PROBABLY WHEN YOU FUCKING BLINDED ME AND LEFT ME IN HIS SHACKLES YOU WORTHLESS PIECES OF SHIT!
20. What is more important- laughter (L) or medicine (M)? MEDICINE, HOW IS THIS EVEN A QUESTION.
21. Please list all of the following diseases you have been afflicted by, if any: Measles (M), Mumps (U), Chicken-Pox (C), Polio (P), Tuberculosis (T), Smallpox (S), Communism (R)
For All Males in the Household:
22. Did you ever serve in the U.S. Armed Forces during (specify Y or N):
23. If No to any question in Item 22, justify your reasons for being so reprehensibly unpatriotic (maximum 100 words): CRUMPLE THIS FORM UP AND SEE HOW DEEP INSIDE YOUR NOOKS IT IS POSSIBLE TO SHOVE IT.
24. Are you a Communist? Are you? NO.
For All Persons:
25. Is there an afterlife and how do you know this isn't it? (maximum 100 words) I DIDN'T THINK THERE WAS, BUT APPARENTLY ACTUALLY EVERYONE GOES TO DEATHBUBBLE SQUIDHELL AND MEANDERS FOREVER IN THEIR LEAST FAVORITE MEMORIES WITH BLANK UNSEEING EYES, SO GO FIGURE.