1. House address:847 Goldberg St. 2. Is this house on a farm (or ranch)?No 3. If no in item 2: Is this house on a place of three or more acres?No
For All Persons:
4. Name (last name first):Wilbur, Balin
· What is the name of the head of household?Wilbur, Balin · What are the names of all other persons who live here? · List in this order: - The head:Balin Wilbur - His wife:Virginia Maxwell - Unmarried sons and daughters and their families (in order of age):Caesar Silverberg - Married sons and daughters and their families:N/A - Your least favorite color:Teal
5. Species (underline applicable):
Human (H) Animal (A) Communist (☭) Wizard (W) Catgirl (CG) <- The fuck? God/Goddess (G) Other (please specify)
6. Sex (underline applicable):
Male (M) Female (F)
7. Are you now married, widowed, divorced, separated, or never married? (Mar, Wd, D, Sep, Nev)Nev
8. What State (or foreign country) were you born in?Pennsylvania
9. What is your deepest secret?I would have said "I can't drive a car," but you assholes already made me blurt that out last year.
10. If foreign born: Are you naturalized? (Yes, No, or AP for born abroad of American parents)N/A
11. What are you most ashamed about?That I survived the Bane invasion of Earth just because I have the right set of genes, while my family and friends didn't. I never even got to talk to my parents one last time before the Bane invaded.
For Persons 14 Years of Age and Over:
12. What were you doing most of last week: working, keeping house, or something else? (Wk, H, Ot, or U for unable to work)Wk
13. If H or Ot in Item 12: Did you do any work at all last week, not counting work around the house? (Include work for pay, in own business, profession, on farm, or unpaid family work) (Yes or No)N/A
14. If No in Item 13: Were you looking for work? (Yes or No)N/A
15. If No in Item 14: Even though you didn't work last week, do you have a job or business? (Yes or No)N/A
16. If No in Item 15: Do you have a good explanation for why you are being so utterly useless to the prosperity of our great town? (Yes, Female, or No, elaborate. Yes is not a valid answer.)Yeah, "prosperity." Like our jobs actually mean something other than just living in a dollhouse for a bunch of sadistic fucks.
For All Persons:
17. What country were your father and mother born in? (Enter US or name of Territory, possession, or foreign country)
Father:US Mother:US
18. If anything but America in Item 17, justify your right to be here (maximum 100 words):Oh that's just precious, the town kidnaps people who aren't from America and then demands they justify their right to be here. Fuck you all so much.
19. What is your most embarrassing memory?Once I spent a night at the tavern in Fort Defiance getting drunk off my ass. A bar fight broke out between some other guys and the MPs arrived to stick everyone in a drunk tank. In my infinite wisdom, I thought I could outrun the MPs. So I gave them the finger and led them on a Sprint-enhanced wild goose chase through the fort, until I tripped and fell over a railing and garroted myself Hollywood-style on some hanging wires at the landing pad.
20. What is more important- laughter (L) or medicine (M)?M
21. Please list all of the following diseases you have been afflicted by, if any: Measles (M), Mumps (U), Chicken-Pox (C), Polio (P), Tuberculosis (T), Smallpox (S), Communism (R)C
For All Males in the Household:
22. Did you ever serve in the U.S. Armed Forces during (specify Y or N):
22a. World War IIN
22b. World War IN
22c. Any other time, including present serviceFought alongside Army and National Guard units during the Bane invasion, currently enlisted in the Army of Allied Free Sentients. Does that count?
23. If No to any question in Item 22, justify your reasons for being so reprehensibly unpatriotic (maximum 100 words):Fuck you buddy, Earth is gone where I'm from. The AFS is all that's left of Earth's military.
24. Are you a Communist? Are you?Fuck no. Wow, Caesar wasn't kidding.
For All Persons:
25. Is there an afterlife and how do you know this isn't it? (maximum 100 words)Oh wow. Really? Really? You know, the afterlife probably doesn't have pearly gates, but I'm damn sure doesn't look like Leave it to Beaver either. And anyway, you guys took me at the wrong time to make me think I'm dead back home. Maybe if you guys actually tried to kidnap me while I was dying on the battlefield you'd get me thinking. Maybe.
no subject
1. House address: 847 Goldberg St.
2. Is this house on a farm (or ranch)? No
3. If no in item 2: Is this house on a place of three or more acres? No
For All Persons:
4. Name (last name first): Wilbur, Balin
5. Species (underline applicable):
6. Sex (underline applicable):
7. Are you now married, widowed, divorced, separated, or never married? (Mar, Wd, D, Sep, Nev) Nev
8. What State (or foreign country) were you born in? Pennsylvania
9. What is your deepest secret? I would have said "I can't drive a car," but you assholes already made me blurt that out last year.
10. If foreign born: Are you naturalized? (Yes, No, or AP for born abroad of American parents) N/A
11. What are you most ashamed about? That I survived the Bane invasion of Earth just because I have the right set of genes, while my family and friends didn't. I never even got to talk to my parents one last time before the Bane invaded.
For Persons 14 Years of Age and Over:
12. What were you doing most of last week: working, keeping house, or something else? (Wk, H, Ot, or U for unable to work) Wk
13. If H or Ot in Item 12: Did you do any work at all last week, not counting work around the house? (Include work for pay, in own business, profession, on farm, or unpaid family work) (Yes or No) N/A
14. If No in Item 13: Were you looking for work? (Yes or No) N/A
15. If No in Item 14: Even though you didn't work last week, do you have a job or business? (Yes or No) N/A
16. If No in Item 15: Do you have a good explanation for why you are being so utterly useless to the prosperity of our great town? (Yes, Female, or No, elaborate. Yes is not a valid answer.) Yeah, "prosperity." Like our jobs actually mean something other than just living in a dollhouse for a bunch of sadistic fucks.
For All Persons:
17. What country were your father and mother born in? (Enter US or name of Territory, possession, or foreign country)
18. If anything but America in Item 17, justify your right to be here (maximum 100 words): Oh that's just precious, the town kidnaps people who aren't from America and then demands they justify their right to be here. Fuck you all so much.
19. What is your most embarrassing memory? Once I spent a night at the tavern in Fort Defiance getting drunk off my ass. A bar fight broke out between some other guys and the MPs arrived to stick everyone in a drunk tank. In my infinite wisdom, I thought I could outrun the MPs. So I gave them the finger and led them on a Sprint-enhanced wild goose chase through the fort, until I tripped and fell over a railing and garroted myself Hollywood-style on some hanging wires at the landing pad.
20. What is more important- laughter (L) or medicine (M)? M
21. Please list all of the following diseases you have been afflicted by, if any: Measles (M), Mumps (U), Chicken-Pox (C), Polio (P), Tuberculosis (T), Smallpox (S), Communism (R) C
For All Males in the Household:
22. Did you ever serve in the U.S. Armed Forces during (specify Y or N):
23. If No to any question in Item 22, justify your reasons for being so reprehensibly unpatriotic (maximum 100 words): Fuck you buddy, Earth is gone where I'm from. The AFS is all that's left of Earth's military.
24. Are you a Communist? Are you? Fuck no. Wow, Caesar wasn't kidding.
For All Persons:
25. Is there an afterlife and how do you know this isn't it? (maximum 100 words) Oh wow. Really? Really? You know, the afterlife probably doesn't have pearly gates, but I'm damn sure doesn't look like Leave it to Beaver either. And anyway, you guys took me at the wrong time to make me think I'm dead back home. Maybe if you guys actually tried to kidnap me while I was dying on the battlefield you'd get me thinking. Maybe.